Abstraction

Keys turned in the lock. He walked in, and shed his coat and jacket in the lobby. Then he eyed his flat. Soulless, nude space, open lines, cold, empty walls, uplifted only by the view, and the grey light filtering through the high windows. The absence of decor mirrored the void he felt biting at his core. He needed something to counter its grasp, replace it with meaning, or deflect it with a placebo blend.

Instinctively, he sat down on his couch and switched on the TV. Hoping to be filled by others’ stories. Zapped from one channel to the next. Found nothing to his taste. He breathed in. The atmosphere was warm. Maybe too warm. He needed air. Fresh air. He got up slid the glass door, and walked out on his balcony

Dressed only in his classic, matt, silk shirt, he braved the negative temperature, resolutely. He looked out over the lake and to the horizon. He needed to feel something. Gushes of frozen winter wind slapped repeatedly at his skin. He could sense his body shrink and shiver in the cold. Still he stood there. Unwavering soul lost in his thoughts. His perspective felt blurred. He needed focus.


This is an excerpt from a short story I wrote for Mug’s Tale’s 33rd Weekly Writing Workshop, entitled Purpose. Click here if you want to read the rest of the story. 


Featured image captured in Yvoire, Haute Savoie, France, on the 22nd of January, 2017 with an iPhone 5S, HDR settings.

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. Singledust says:

    the way you write just pulls me – each word has to be said once before the next comes to greet me and then the back story is so clear – he has lost the joy for life it seems – too much in a life of excess – he can’t feel joy it seems to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Gina. Judging from your comment I believe you read the whole piece. Your kind words brought a smile to my face, I am so happy you enjoy reading my work and I love to hear your take on it. I believe your view complements mine well. Indeed he fears that by having led his life to what he thought was the full extent of it, he may have missed out on what he deeply really cares about.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Singledust says:

        Your descriptions made the difference really. I usually write about feelings to convey a message, you do it with descriptions, I need to learn to use this more. always great to read you!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, Gina. 🙂 most editors tell you the best advice when writing is “show, don’t tell”. Maybe description of the action is what they mean by that so that the reader can imagine what is going on in the characters’ minds. I am trying to do that but sometimes I feel like it is necessary to convey my message with a bit more precision and I write down what the characters are experiencing as well. The key probably lies in balancing it all.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Singledust says:

        its interesting to read your advice here- as to what editors look for and want. Good tips though I would find it hard to write creatively while always at the back of my mind what would be acceptable and whats not. But then i am not a serious writer – mine is just lots of fluff. But i like that you achieve that balance and writing becomes a work of art from you.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I don’t know if what I do is a work of art, yet, but I certainly hope I will get there some day 🙂
        It is always hard to keep rules or guidance in mind when you are creating. It all depends on your aim, what you wish to achieve. If you want to write a novel I believe following some of these guidelines to a certain extent will help you direct your creativity in the right direction. If you don’t care about being published or sharing your work, I don’t see why you should follow any of these directions, if they feel like a restriction to you and prevent your creativity from thriving.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Singledust says:

        Torn between 2 minds about this Hallie, while I would like to make writing some sort of a career once I retire from my current job and I still don’t have much confidence that what I write is good enough. So your advice really helped, its always good to be open minded about creating and our “work” as who like to write call it! Small steps for me, like doing the prompts and writing challenge, but yes its good to also step away from too much of the feels and evaluate our writing for what it can be. Well as the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I read your pieces like that, beautiful works of art. Have a lovely week ahead!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. You can do whatever you set your heart to ❤ Just believe in yourself and work your way to reach those goals. Thank you for your compliments. I am terribly happy you like what I do. Don't hesitate if you need advice or feedback on your own work. Have a lovely week too ❤

        Like

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