See Through

There is this constant ache

Tugging at his chest,

A weight he just can’t shake.

 

He feels completely invisible to her.

She holds him in her palm,

And yet she makes him feel like

She doesn’t see him.

 

If he existed through her eyes only,

He would have no soul.

 

He would be a table or chair,

Maybe a pretty painting,

But not a human being.

 

His heart was hoping to feel hers,

But hers won’t open.

He sees no door carving itself in her walls

To welcome his presence.

She is there physically,

Just enough not to lose him momentarily,

But not enough to keep him indefinitely.

 

He is walking in limbo,

Stuck between two worlds,

One with her in it,

The other one without.

 

He has been hoping for a sign

Of her love to show him the way

And welcome her in,

But her heart it filled with doubts.

 

That leaves no place for him.

Her space is overcrowded.

There is no room for him to fit in,

So he has to go.

 

New Year’s decided so.


Featured image: Layers of tree shadows lying over water covered, fallen leaves. Captured with an iPhone X, HDR setting, on December 29th, 2018, in Gap, France.

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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Hmm, what do I make of this? Beautifully written, as always, but so filled with a hurting, missed love. The joy in reading you and the sadness you seed are dancing in my heart and both are pushing to lead 😅. I think it’s a good feeling.

    I hope you get to write to your heart’s content this year, although that wish is also very self-serving 😉. At the very least, let it find some happiness ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for reading me and appreciating the words, Dreamwalker.

      Sometimes I need words to help me think and make a sense of people, life and relationships. Maybe this tale will speak to a passerby or two.

      It is so easy to get off track, when you love life as much as I do. I feed off the little things and manage to smile and be as happy as I can be. I tend to lose sight of the essential when it comes to reciprocated love, which I think I dub as unavailable to me, as I have so rarely experienced it. Maybe it is a chimera. Like magic it exists only in tales.

      You know I have written a little. I just haven’t shared it on WP.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It is always good to be able to live in the moment as well, for a little while at least. “Feeding off those little things” and not worrying what they’ll lead to is important too, just happily existing and giving that love a chance to blossom. As long as that brings you more happiness than hurt I wouldn’t call it a waste at all.

        I hope you don’t give up on love, you are too beautiful a soul to not get that feeling that you so desire. Maybe it is like magic, but you also bring magic to life everyday with your writing ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Your words are honey. A treat to my misty morning eyes. You are right of course. Then again, Diana’s words come to mind. “Why do we allow ourselves to exist in suboptimal conditions of the heart?” it is a very good question I feel.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. So it shall be a war of the words between me and Diana then. I don’t think I will stand a chance next to that particular wordsmith 😅❤️.

            Maybe your response is correct. Life is imperfect and love doesn’t just magically appear at first sight for those that truly deserve it. A partial presence can lure you in, but is it not still better than an absence, even if it is just a game of shadow chasing? You might not feel fully fulfilled by it, but it brings you some amount of happiness. I don’t believe anything we do is absolutely optimal, real life is beautifully complicated and so we compromise in everything we do until we’ve achieved our own low energy state where we get an acceptable level of happiness in our life with a minimum energy usage (Yes, I am way over simplifying life by breaking us down to atoms here. 😅)

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Haha yeah we are atom based anyway. except I love intensity and partial bites also underwhelm me.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Diana says:

    Reading you and relishing the comfort zone I happily enter tonight! Memories of why and how our friendship began … sharing special words. And now I’m thinking about the theme here, and wondering why we allow ourselves to to exist in suboptimal conditions of the heart. Sometimes for a moment, sometimes a lifetime. Much love dear heart ….. you are a constant even when your posts are few xo

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Our bond is strong my D. Forged in words, and bound in true and open hearts. You know you have your special place in mine always ❤ I love your reflection here. Indeed why do we allow ourselves to to exist in suboptimal conditions of the heart? I think it is because real life is imperfect. It is more often a challenge than it is a comfort. Strength is required at every turn. Also sometimes, a partial presence can lure you in, as it is more substantial than a total absence.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Diana says:

        When we first met you drew me like a magnet to your maturity and sensible thoughts …. and oh how I recall that feeling as I consider your words here. The excitement of considering your thoughts is ongoing and surely, this will never ever cease.

        Ah, the lure of the partial presence meeting our calm patience. Suboptimal conditions are like the soil under a plant, it can only support life for a time before our limbs wilt. May we grow in fertile pastures ❤

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Gina says:

    lovely to read your words dear in this new year – a blessed one to you and yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your words, my Gina ❤ Happy new year to you and your loved ones too. A giant hug!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. bola says:

    So glad to connect with u through your blog. I have missed you and reading your writing. I hope u are well and this new year blesses you with so many opportunities, adventures, and memories! 💗 luv u, miss u! I’ve admittedly and unfortunately failed in keeping up with my blog for the past few months, but im so glad to be reading your writing! You have always been inspiring to me

    Liked by 1 person

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